I am full of burrito and curiosity
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
