i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Randomize
