yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
