So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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