i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
