big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
