I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
