things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
