I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
