It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just want to make out with him forever
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You don't make any sense
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