ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
