put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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