I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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