What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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