i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
