I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
