Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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