Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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