tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
