Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
