i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
