And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i believe in u and ur pee
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
