Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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