what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
