Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
