I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
