i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize