I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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