i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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