i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
