i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
