I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
