I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
