Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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