So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
