Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
