So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
