Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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