Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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