I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
