whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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