I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize