come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
