is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
