Kiss
Puke
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
