The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
