they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
