Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
