i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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