so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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