where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Randomize
