dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize