Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She's the barista slut.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
