I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
