Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
