I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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