just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh god it's open bar.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
