It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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