She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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