And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
