dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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