shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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