Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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