I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I party with great urgency now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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